Prepare the fruit by quartering the apples and pears and removing the cores and pips. Chop roughly (and I do mean roughly, this is a lazy recipe after all), and place in the slow cooker.

Grind the cloves to a powder in a pestle and mortar, remove any tough woody stalks and tip over the fruit.

Add the blackberries, sugar, lemon juice, zest and spices, give everything a good stir and then set your slow cooker to the ‘low’ setting.

Cook for 10 hours, stirring occasionally to break up the fruit. After 7 or 8 hours, when the fruit has collapsed, either blend the mixture to a puree by using a stick blender, or whizz it all in batches in a food processor and then return it to the crockpot and continue to cook.

After ten hours, check the flavour, adding more cinnamon and sugar if you like (you may need a little extra sweetness if your apples were very tart); I made one batch with eight cloves and it had a distinctly medicinal undertone, so less is more with that one!).

Reset the timer for another two hours, but this time prop the lid open with a couple of wooden spoons to allow the moisture to escape and the mixture to thicken up.

Once the slow cooker pings again, stir through the vanilla essence and allow to cool slightly before potting into a sterilised glass jar. Bag or box the rest up and store in the freezer until required.